What Next? FB freakin' I????

So here I am, MINDING my own business driving home from work. I pass a State Patrol car, look down at my spedometer and don't think I'm speeding. The car turns around and follows my rear end. Omg Omg.... what the hell did I do NOW??????????????

Trying not to drive in a paranoid fashion I flick on my cruise control in case I have a knee-jerk reaction and hit the accelerator by accident. It doesn't matter because one-half mile later "woo woo" and the lights come on in my rearview mirror.

AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!

I rarely RARELY get stopped for vehicular misdemeanors. WHAT NOW????????? (waaaaaaaaaah).

I roll my window down and ask sweetly (oh crap.. it's a woman officer... that's great, JUST great) "What did I do?"

She says "I'll tell you after you show me your license, registration, and insurance."

Um.. ok.

I had already unbuckled my seatbelt, which I realized I shouldn't have because I was asked about it. Then I had to contort myself across the console in order to try to pretend I was Stretch Armstrong to reach my tiny purse that had fallen on the floor-board and slid to the furthest depths and lengths of my truck that had suddenly doubled in width. Then I couldn't get my glove box open because a CD case had jammed inside it. I turned to the lady-cop and tried to give her my best "hee hee" smile. She wasn't amused.

I found my info and to my dismay.... NOTHING CURRENT WAS IN MY LITTLE PACKET!

Omg.... I'm so freaking going to jail... why meeeeeeeeeeeee? WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEE?

I stuttered and murmurred around as she gazed at me with non-interest at my stammering. So she took what I had on me and went back to her car. I think I sang the theme to Jeopardy more than 50 times as I tried to pretend I was calm and relaxed.

They really don't care that you "oops forgot" to put the stinkin info in your vehicle. So now I have a stinkin' court date. JAY'S FAULT!

She laughed when I asked "Can my husband go in my place since he usually takes care of this and I feel it's his fault?" (as I try to smile as sweetly as a woman can smile at a woman without being punched in the face). She laughed and said that that would probably be ok since his name is on the title anyway.

But HEY! She didn't bust me for speeding!!!!!!!!! :-D

If I see men in black walking toward me tomorrow, I will surely shit my pants.